Now girls, you're both pretty.

So apparently Axl Rose and Tommy Cruise - no, wait - Tommy Lee - no, wait - Tommy HILFIGER got into a little bitchfest at some bar the other night. Axl moved Tommy's girlfriend's drink and all hell - the high pitched, overly Botoxed version - broke loose.

First off, who knew Tommy Hilfiger had a girlfriend? And more specifically, who knew Tommy Hilfiger was straight? I watched Rich Girls. Daddy was as flaming as Lindsay Lohan's firecrotch.

Second, Tommy Hilfiger punched Axl Rose? That's like Tiny Tim punching Hulk Hogan! A puffy, cornrowed version of Hulk Hogan. Come to think of it, Hulk Hogan is a puffy, cornrowed version of Hulk Hogan these days...

Regardless, I would've given a shiny fifty cent piece to see that girlfight in action. Why do I miss all the good stuff?