Are we STILL in Canada?! (eh?)
Day 3 (or is it 4? Who can tell anymore?)
It's fracking* freezing. People are huddled under Fun Ship blankets sipping hot tea, except for the few bikini clad die-hards who refuse to admit defeat. (They're on vacation, dammit!) Ignoring the temperature (and common sense) I stuffed myself into a one-piece, pulled on my goggles (I'm slightly OCD about getting water in my eyes), sucked in my gut and headed towards the waterslide. (There are some things a person should never pass up: free food, free booze, and a four-story waterslide.)
The thing was a monster! Four decks high and so fast, you'd think it was slicked with butter. I looked like a beached whale when I hit the pool (dad's going have to burn those pics) but I couldn't wait to do it again. Some mealy-mouthed 10 year old tried to cut in line but I bitch-slapped her with my eyes and she retreated.
I've consumed an obscene amount of bacon on this trip. Obscene. When I walk, my belly bounces with each step. That said, if you can get a cheap cruise, it's really not a bad deal. At roughly $400 per person for 5 days, all meals, non-alcoholic drinks, and entertainment included, it's less than the cost of most hotel rooms. Plus you get to go someplace. That place might be Canada, but still.
I live for the art auctions on these things. ("We've got names like PICASSO! REMBRANDT! DALI!... and THOMAS KINKADE!") The mix of high and low is comical/sad. They'd auction off a spectacular Chagall lithograph followed by a Norman Rockwell/Garfield print and - do I even need to say it? - the Garfield would incite a furious bidding war. (Jim Davis, the creater of Garfield, bought the rights to several of Norman Rockwell's most famous pieces and superimposed his that stupid lasagna-eating cat right in the middle. Which isn't horrifying at all.)
Painting of two nudes in an embrace: (Best auction quote)
(Auctioneer) "What's the hardest thing to paint? Hands and feet. And where does this artist place his hands?"
(Befuddled audience member) "On her ass?"
The cruise is over. It was great while it lasted. (In my luggage you might find 28 individual boxes of breakfast cereal, 9 protein shakes, and 5 bananas. I'm not saying you will. I'm just saying.)
It's good to be home.
*A shout-out to all the Battlestar Galactica nerds in the hizzouse!
posted by Ali @ 8:01 PM
5 Comments:
I am NOT diggin' all these stupid advertisements that get stuck into our blogs, how about you?
Sounds like you had a lot of fun on the cruise. Kayla and I want to organize one some day with a small group of friends. We will keep you and Matt on our list to include!
BrooklynGirl gives birth
That's one more infertile blogger biting the dust, so to speak! BrooklynGirl welcomed a baby boy ... And we at Blogging Baby are flush with congratulations for the whole BrooklynFamily.
Nice to see some decent content for a change. FYI, I log on today and see that we've got a new feature, the 'Flag blog' button, which is inconveniently located between the 'Get Your Own Blog' and 'Next Blog' buttons so that we would presumably be getting some flags on error alone (although if one happens to notice it, you can unflag a blog) But that's a trivial matter. What concerns me is this: When a person visiting a blog clicks the "Flag?" button in the Blogger Navbar, it means they believe the content of the blog may be potentially offensive or illegal. We track the number of times a blog has been flagged as objectionable and use this information to determine what action is needed. This feature allows the blogging community as a whole to identify content they deem objectionable. Ok, see the problem with this? What's "objectionable." I'm guessing there are a good deal of people that would likely deem my blog to be objectionable; and there lies the problem: what is objectionable and what is subjective. Just my 2 cents, Uniform Patches
Um, what the fuck is happening to my comment page? Who are all you people? (Except you, Ted.)
DISCOUNT CAT FURNITURE?!
Alisha,
You can delete the comments you don't want on your comments page. Click on the little trash can, and they will go away.
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