I love New York, and by "love" I totally mean "love to laugh at". Today I wandered into this new store on the schmantzy Upper East Side that only sells puppy and baby stuff. Being fond of both puppies and babies I decided to check it out and discovered not only do they sell puppy stuff - they sell actual puppies! But these weren't just any puppies, oh no. These were all miniature rare breeds. There was a miniscule Boston Terrier and a teeny weeny poodle and some kind of ridiculously small pug - I mean, these creatures were tiny. (There was a schnauzer in one of the pens that looked practically Godzilla-like next to all the pocketbook pups. You just know that poor fucker's never getting adopted.) But here's the best part: instead of being housed in wire cages, they were showcased in CLEAR PLEXIGLASS JEWEL BOXES! Oh no! Oh yes! I don't know how to describe them but it was clear from the way they were displayed that these animals were meant to be seen as adorable, peeing accessories. Not that you'd know that they deficated from looking at them; the cages were absolutely pristine. (I guess when you're dealing with something that see-through, you're motivated to keep it clean.) But the BEST best part? Instead of plain old newspaper, the dogs shat on STRIPS OF PASTEL CONFETTI! Is that awesome or what?!

And in case you were wondering, the dogs start at $1,000. Guess somebody's gotta pay for all that poop scooping.