Two things -

While I hate spam, occasionally a garbled, terribly translated offer for penile enhancement catches my eye. A garbled, terribly translated offer that goes something like this:

"Her hip. Suddenly. Speak and the outer... Dimensions."

Admit it, if some hifalutin' hipster poetryslammed that bad boy, you'd think it was awesome. Or at least I would.

Yesterday I walked past some kids selling lemonade outside of their Upper East Side condo. I'm a total sucker for that stuff, but these kids had me at hello. The older sister was doing her best newsboy with cries of "Lemonade! Lemonade!" but her little sister kept stealing her thunder with this version of a sales pitch:

"POISON! POISON'S GOOD FOR BOOOOOYS!"

I would've bought two cups if I'd had the dough.