Grouch

A quick jealousy-tinged rant to get my day started off right:

So I was at the fitting yesterday and there was this girl - one of those gorgeous, all-bravado, "Get outta my way 'cause I'm gonna be a STAR!" types that just stick in my craw. You know the type; jumped into every conversation, kept bitching about all the "huge" jobs she lost to various "heifers"... The kind of girl I hate, A: because she's so good at getting attention and B: because as much as I want to be her, I so don't want to be her.

She's got one of those bodies that slay me; a Winona Ryder-y build with the good fortune of being exceptionally tiny while still rocking a formidable pair of tits. (My green-eyed monster hates to admit that they were clearly real.) I was standing next to her in my T-shirt and shorts(rocking the potbelly!) when she starts "muttering" (loudly enough for me to hear, of course) something about eating a burger. When I turned to her she starts going, "EAT A BURGER! Told me to 'Eat a burger'!" She turned to me with wide eyes, like the wardrobe girl had told her to go fuck herself, which is probably what she meant. "'Eat a burger', can you believe that? I try to eat, I really do!" Her voice took on a whiny, "I'm so bad" tone. "But sometimes I just forget!"

Let's get this out there for the record: NOBODY FORGETS TO EAT. And the people who say that are big liar pants. I have never once forgotten to eat. I've been too busy to eat, in which case I make sure every person within earshot is made aware of that fact but I've never forgotten. "Forgetting" to eat is like "forgetting" to take a shit. Bitch, please.

Has anyone here ever forgotten to eat? I don't mean Ooops, It's 3:00! I Missed Lunch! forgot; I'm talking forgot-forgot. Like gone a whole day without eating forgot. If that's the case I'll eat my words. (Unless I forget, that is.)

(I'm gonna bet booted in the ass for this negativity, right? I'M SURE SHE'S A VERY NICE PERSON AND I WISH HER NOTHING BUT SUCCESS! How's that, karma?)