This is my life.

Sorry for the underwhelming amount of posts as of late but it's takes a few days to recover from being doused with squid.

Actually, I don't know that "doused" is the right word... "Beaned", perhaps? "Pummeled"? "Shocked and Awed"?

So we got to the park in Queens and aside from some light rain, it was all systems go. Granted it was the middle of the night and we were lounging on picnic blankets in a park in Queens with 200 extras but still, relatively normal.

Then we saw it. A crane full of squid, positioned over our heads like... well, like a crane full of squid. Hanging 30 feet in the air was a platform covered in full-sized rubber sea creatures. It was menacing, I tell you. Menacing. One of the other girls turned to me and whispered, "My agent told me that they'd be styrofoam!" Another girl said she'd heard that they really hurt. I should've known something was up when I spotted the ambulance. (There were medics too. You know, just in case.)

The director came forward and told us to pretend that we were watching a fireworks display. But most importantly, no matter what, we were to act like everything was absolutely normal. Which it was. Until they unleashed the crane full of squid. It was like being pelted with rubber chickens. Rubber chickens that had been dropped 30 feet. An old guy in front of us was the first to go down, exploding in a torrent of obscenities. A poor female extra who'd been made to lie face up, exposing her to the full brunt of the rubber madness, was next - followed shortly by everybody else. This lasted roughly five takes. I managed to get seriously nailed only once but the old guy? He was having none of it. Instead of playing along like the rest of us, as soon as the squid were released he'd start flailing like an epileptic, screaming "JESUS, GOD!" and "FUCKING SQUIIIID!"

C'mon, who can keep a straight face when that's happening? I mean, please.

Unfortunately, this didn't go over too well with the crew.

To be fair, the crew had just come off a 20 hour day. They were done. They were not in the mood to deal with some gripy old guy who kept ruining the shot, forcing them to reload roughly 400 heavy rubber squid high in the air. I'm not saying that after a few takes they intentionally started loading the really nasty, heavy ones over Old Guy, I'm just saying. Luckily the producers quickly realized that this particular acting approach wasn't working so instead they told us to really get into the squid. Smile! Clap! Love the squid!

You can guess how well that worked out.

Finally they caved and had us act like normal human beings who were being pummeled by heavy objects. Madness ensued, and it was hilarious. We were so tired (and so hopped up on sugar to keep us awake) that we just lost it. Picture 200 people flailing and screaming and cowering while being pelted with squid in the middle of the night in Queens.

Genius.

It was, to put it mildly, something.