Maybe Old Navy has some...

I've noticed that stores are racing to get my hard earned dollars earlier than ever lately. Halloween candy shows up around Labor Day, Chrismas music starts ringing around October and Easter hops into the arms of Valentine's Day.

Which is fine, except that the Gap is no longer selling summer clothes. Which is annoying as fuck when I need a pair of shorts.

This frustration isn't just about the shorts. (Although it's a lot about the shorts.) I feel they're rushing me through my summer. Not that I normally love summer in the city, what with the sweat and dirt and crowding and questionable deoderant usage, but this summer has been particularly mild and I'm enjoying the hell out of it. I see a pair of cords and start to get anxious. Because if there's one thing I know, it's this: After fall comes winter and I LOATHE WINTER. I feel all anxious and ootsy inside just thinking about it. Who's buying these clothes? Are there people sitting around in their shorts and flip flops going, "Gee, I sure could use a cowl-neck mohair sweater in a charming leaf print"?

You know what else bugs me? People who wear sweaters with shorts and flip flops. I've seen a few of them around lately. If it's chilly enough for a sweater, it's time to pull on some pants. Once I actually saw a guy in a pair of shorts, mandals (man sandals) and a puffy down jacket. Bothered me, bothered me, bothered me...