Bitch, please!

So apparently Courtney "I allow strangers to suck my teat" Love is releasing a memoir. Now I would not be Alisha "I just ate fifteen onion rings" McKinney I didn't cop to being a scootch interested in Courtney's (undoubtedly insane) ramblings.

Dear Diary,

Today I let a guy suck on my titty outside Wendy's! All he wanted was some Chicken McNuggets and he got my titty! ROCK 'N ROLL, MAN! ROCK 'N ROLL!

Ciao for now!
Courtney

But no. Instead we get this:

"Exactly one month ago today was the last time I made love with my husband. I cooked him dinner. We spent four hours in the playroom with Frances. We saw Schindler's List. It made us frightened for life and we saw the value of life. Our convictions we defined until 4 a.m. and we fell asleep in each other's arms and woke up that way in the morning."

Excuse me for a moment while I complete my eye roll.

I mean, please. PLEASE. They played with Frances for four hours? They "made love"? THEY WATCHED SCHLINDLER'S LIST?! If that's code for "nodded off from massive amounts of heroin" then fine, but in the meantime mama ain't buying it.

Watched Schlindler's list. Bitch, please.