Party your incredibly expensive panties off!

So last night's big event wasn't actually that bad. It was a riff on Truman Capote's Black and White ball; they actually recreated the Plaza Hotel inside of the auction house where I work. Everyone got totally gussied up (black and white only - except for the one narcissist who decided to wear silver) and we entertained ourselves playing "Worst Dressed", "Most Plastic Surgery", etc. One guy was dressed like a Russian officer, straight out of Three Sisters. Full military frock coat, big curly mustache. He looked fantastic. Another guy dressed as Bottom from Midsummer Night's Dream, complete with papier mache ass head. I'll take stuff like that any day over (yet another) tasteful silk slipdress. The only celebs I saw were Kitty Carlisle Hart and Aisha Tyler. (The chick from Talk Soup and one season of Friends.) The woman is amazonian - like, 6'1" and skin and bones. Which is irritating because she always talks about the fact that she's such a "healthy" size for LA. If that's healthy...

It's time for These People Are Not Like Me, a smattering of last night's most annoying comments -

As I passed a plate of homemade marshmallows drizzled with chocolate:

"It looks just like a Prada skirt!"

As I passed a plate of miniature cupcakes:

(me) "Cupcakes?"
(gentleman with dubious look on face) "Of?"

Um, sugar? Cake? Delight? I mean, come on, guy.