Oh God. Ohgodohgodohgod.

Yes, gentle readers, that is indeed a slice of bacon. A slice of bacon on a candy bar.

I was wandering around SoHo today when I happened upon Vosges, my favorite chocolate shop in all of NYC. Vosges is known for coming up with unexpectly delicious flavor combos - things like the Goji Chocolate Bar (tibetan goji berries, pink Himalayan salt and deep milk chocolate) or their Naga Bar (sweet Indian curry powder, coconut flakes and chocolate) so when I saw this, their newest creation, I was curious.

And by "curious" I mean "totally nasted out".

Don't get me wrong, I get it. The whole salty/sweet thing? Huge turn on. Come on, a few slices of really crisp bacon dipped in maple syrup? I dare you to deny the delicious. But bacon and chocolate? Not a ride I wanted to go on. Still, I couldn't help noticing that the bars - the bacon-chocolate bars - were completely sold out. And as we all know, if there's a bandwagon on which I can jump, I will take a flying leap.

I turned to the Buddy Holly-esque countergay and held up the bar, scrunching my nose skeptically.

"Oh honey," he said, lowering his voice, "it is un-be-lievable." Then he said the magic words:

"LET ME SEE IF I HAVE ANY SAMPLES."

He held out the box reverently, his eyes shining with anticipation. I took my time, hunting for the largest piece, and popped it into my mouth.

It was...

It was...

Friends, I think I was Punked.

Chocolate covered bacon. I just ate a piece of chocolate covered bacon. Just thinking about it makes my innards queasy. Why?! Why would someone do this to chocolate? And more specifically, why would someone eat it?! (Well, it was free...) But as stupid as I may be, remember this: there are at least a dozen other people walking around with $8 bacon bars tucked in their bags. I may be dumb, but I ain't that dumb.