Is there a Cat Whisperer?

HAPPY BASTILLE DAY! Eat some crepes! French kiss your wife! Behead a neighbor!

It's Saturday night in NYC and what am I doing? Laundry. That's been the extent of my day. I almost made it to the new Harry Potter this afternoon but I got distracted by the thought of lunch. It doesn't take much to get me off track these days. When I told Matt that pregnant women's brains shrink 8% he said the sweetest thing...

"I thought you looked a little dumber!"

'Til death do us part, folks.

Speaking of (husbands, not death), that man's been gone a long time. I miss him, and not just because he entertains the cats. And carries all the laundry. And helps me clean the house. And entertains the cats. And lifts the really heavy mattress which technically I'm not supposed to do but if I don't I'll be sleeping sheetless for the next three weeks. And entertains the cats. Seriously, the hardest part of his being gone is the lack of sleep. The cats are still - STILL - on a rampage. Val runs around the house screaming bloody murder which is nice and direct but Tinkerbell... she's more subtle.

12:30 am: You've just started nodding off. Then you feel something coming toward you. You open your eyes just in time to see a small, stinky paw reaching toward your face.

Lather, rinse, repeat roughly seventy-two more times and you've got a decent idea what my nights are like. Sure, it's almost cute - until you catch a whiff and remember where that paw has been. Between the yelling and the pawing (don't get me started on my bladder) sleep deprivation ain't waiting for no squawking kid. Still, I've got a week off coming up which is beyond awesome. Tomorrow I have big plans to tidy the place for a visiting K. Polly. He's rumored to be staying chez Ali but seeing as how he has giant make-out plans for this trip (no, not involving me) I'm not sure how much time he'll actually spend here. Still, I am my mother's child which means a trip to Trader Joe's and some significant de-cat hairing of the couch. At least until lunch.