I want to be a movie star

I read this – and I may have it wrong – but I read that Julia Roberts is making $34,000 per week on Broadway.

Is that true? Because if that’s true, I’m going to scream.

It’s true, isn’t it?

I can’t figure out how to work the TV at Baby’s house and I’m too embarrassed to ask Baby's Mama how to work it for fear that she’d think I spend my time watching Punk’d instead of her beloved offspring. Instead, I’m reading a New York Magazine article discussing whether or not Julia Roberts is an actress. (The writer’s take: Yes. Mine: Yes. Just not on stage.) But I cannot, will not get over the fact that she’s making more per week than most people make in a year – and, if the critics are to be believed, she SUCKS in the part. This is not jealously talking, no, no. Okay, there’s a little jealousy talking but come on, anyone making $34,000 a week at a job where you don’t have to show up for work until 7:30 at night gets a little ribbing.