I'm blogging... I'm blogging...

For the past two days I’ve had that song “Sixteen Tons” going through my head. (I think that’s what it’s called…) You know, “You move sixteen tons, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt.” (There are more words but that’s all I know.) People were singing it at catering the other night as we made a human chain for the 500 lugs of plates and glassware. All these tiny actresses in tuxedos chaining twenty pound crates, warbling like old black men. Since then it hasn’t left my head (minus a brief intermission for Lionel Richie’s “Hello”).

Guess what today is? No seriously, just guess. It’s FREE CONE DAY AT BEN & JERRY’S. Also known as ALISHA’S FAVORITE DAY, LIKE, EVER. Or at least it was Alisha’s favorite day until she decided to go off sugar. Sure, B&J probably have a sugar free concoction but I guarantee it tastes like ass. Sugar free ASS. Thank God I didn’t ever take up smoking. If I’m this whiny over sugar and caffeine, imagine the nic fits…

Oh, here’s a good word I just learned, courtesy of the Ricky Gervais podcast: “whinge”. (Pronounced “whinge”.) Aparently it’s the British word for “whine”. Like many British things, it's better than the American version. Like “bullocks” instead of “bullshit” or “crikey” instead of… um… Dan made a good point when he brought up British TV. (I mean, “telly”. See? Cute!) Nobody on British television is attractive. I mean, not NOBODY (hello there, Dr. Who) but for the most part people on telly look like people, versus people on TV who look anorexic and unusually orange. And they all have quirky teeth, which I happen to find rather attractive. Nobody on American TV has quirky teeth (unless "unusually large and bright" counts).

(*Please note, the author would eat her own shoe if it meant whiter teeth.)

So apparently Chad and Hilary aren’t working it out. I saw some video of Chad on a dinner date with some young thing who gave him a kiss that didn’t speak of friendship (although it might’ve spoken in tongues). Hilary has been spotted with some buff workout partner but he could be her trainer, who knows. Still, if Chad’s making out with Young Miss, chances are things are ka-put. I’m bummed about this one. I can’t even bring myself to mock it – unlike Brad and Angie. (It’s just a matter of time, folks!) Speaking of crazy relationships, did anyone catch the news that Denise Richards is now dating Ritchie Sambora? Which wouldn't make a bleep in my radar EXCEPT that she used to be best friends with Heather Locklear AND she and Heather live RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO EACH OTHER! Now that's seriously fucked up. In the best, most gossiplicious way.