And how'd they get through the woods in a covered wagon?

I was reading an article in the NY Times about how healthy and hearty we are compared to our pioneering ancestors. Back in the day, a "hearty" man was roughly 5'7", 150 lbs - and dead by 50. Not dead because he was shot or eaten by a bear (although I'm sure several were) - dead because life was so rough their bodies simply gave out.

That shit fascinates me.

I've never tried to hide my love for those Laura Ingalls Wilder books (I had a rather rich fantasy life involving Almanzo Wilder. Of course it was the blond Melissa Gilbert era "Manly", versus the rather grim and significantly less attractive "real life" Almonzo whose picture I discovered later. For some reason we were always riding a ferris wheel...) You know the number one cause of death listed on death certificates for women in those days? "Exhaustion". Now I've been tired before. After a 13 hour catering stint I may have even, in a pique of disgruntled grumptasticy, used the term "exhausted" to describe my weak and whiny state. But I sure as hell never died from it. And yes, I'm sure they probably officially died from something else but the fact that exhaustion could even be considered a cause of death blows my mind.

There was another statistic that said that 1 out of 6 were rejected from the Civil War army on the grounds of being too ill or weak. This was not a picky army, peeps. Being unable to hold your urine was not grounds for disqualification. Being blind in one eye was not grounds for disqualification. (Unless you happened to be blind in the right eye - your musket eye. Then you were out. But blind in your left? No prob.)

I was at NYU dental yesterday getting a few fillings done by a (gulp) student dentist and had a small, infinitesimal taste of what it must have been like back in the day. (Okay, truth be told my student dentist was fantastic. I highly recommend for those without dental insurance in the tri-state area.) Point being, it had to suuuuck. And here's a question for the moms (or history buffs) in the hizzouse: Laura gave birth to a baby while unconscious. They just chlorophormed the hell out of her when the contractions started and when she woke up - baby! Now how did they get that baby out without her pushing? Foreceps? And why can't we bring that technique back? (The knocking out, not the foreceps.)

Enough of all this. I'm off to my chiropractor to keep my back in check. If only my pioneering sisters had had access to Dr. Cinelli...