But I've lost 6 pounds.

I'm FREE. 120 (completely overhauled) reviews are now edited, formatted, Mapquested and (occasionally) factchecked. (Shit, is that two words?) It took about five hours last night to get it all done, but damn if they aren't! What did I learn?

A: If I have to write about one more tanning salon... You can stand up, you can lay down, you can spray on, you can get unlimited tanning cards. AT EVERY SINGLE ONE. I mean seriously, they're indistinguishable. Now try jazzing up 32 of 'em to make each one sound unique. Just try it. I dare you.

B: I am the queen of bad puns. Desperate for something to fill space? Ain't nothing like a pun to get you there. Yoga studio? Welcome "Om". Tanning salon? I'll pull out eighteen variations of "Get your glow on" which is already so two years ago I want to fire myself. Grasping at straws peeps. Grasping at straws.

C: I need interns. Man, my life would be so much better with one. I've been obsessed with the idea ever since my boss mentioned them. I'd have someone to do my dirty work AND I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY THEM! Just give them college credit in, like, Life Skills or something! I would be so willing to do that!

In the meantime, I'm off to the gym. Buffness waits for no whiner.