Channeling my inner Afrikaaner

Between Tom Cruise and his crack-brained idea to buy a home sonogram machine and Nick and Jessica finally (publicly) biting the bullet and Brad going out and adopting Angelina's mini rainbow tribe and Laguna Beach's seemingly levelheaded Talan getting engaged to Kimberly Stewart after two weeks of dating (and then - phew! - breaking it off just as fast) and Christina's nuptials (actually I don't care about that one so much) , I don't know where to begin!

How's about the fact that I have an audition coming up where I have to play 24 different characters? A South African 6 year old, her mother AND father, her 8 year old Afrikaans neighbor, an Irish cop, and 5 different black people, ranging from a 4 year old to an 86 year old gardener with a mangled hand, ALL WITH SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT AFRICAN DIALECTS? Dude, I can't even do one African dialect!

"Acting challenge" schmacking challenge. Where's the 'bots?