So THAT'S why I haven't booked a job!

I had an audition for Vonage today. (The same audition where someone stole my cell phone and $20. Dick.) Vonage is some sort of internet phone service thing that I'm far too technically unadvanced to appreciate but I can appreciate the value of insurance, of which I will have none of if I don't book myself another commercial soon. I'm supposed to be playing the 30-something wife of a breakdancer. In the copy I'm touting my love of internet phone service while my elderly husband breakdances in the background.

I'm not sure I get it either.

The room is full of thuggy breakdancer guys (I'm assuming they'll use prosthetics to age the guy, like the freaky Six Flags dude), 20-something tartlets, and late 30's character women. And me - I'm there too for some reason. The casting director is all like, "You're reading for the wife? Oookaayy..." in a tone that practically snorted. Then she tells me that they want it really natural, "like a real person" - as opposed to my android self. So I do the first take until she stops me - "Um, no. Less smiley, less cute, more nervous, less attractive."

Okay, here's what I heard: YOU ARE FAR TOO ATTRACTIVE TO BE IN OUR COMMERCIAL. We need to shoot a commercial, and your good looks are going to muck it up. Why-oh-why do you have to be so damned attractive? Damn woman, you are gooood lookin'.

I mean, that's what I heard.