Fox-tastic!

Sting's a little in love with me. I'm not sure when it happened; maybe at the beginning of the night when I paraded back and forth in front of him while he drank his tea. (He didn't actually look up but I could tell he dug me.) During his sound check he kept making these sexy little "I wanna hump you" hip thrusts that were clearly meant for me, and he'd clearly talked to the powers that be because I was chosen serve his entree. The captain tried to thwart our love by telling me that Sting wasn't a vegetarian and sending me to serve his wife and some random, non-Sting woman, but my man blew me a kiss across the table to let me know it was okay. (He called me "Trudy" for some reason... I think that's his pet name for me.)

Watching Sting perform live 20 feet away was pretty fucking cool. And in case you were wondering, the man is foxy. In person he will make you swoon. When he launched into Roxanne, seriously, it was like a Tom Jones moment. You could tell every woman in the room was thinking the exact same thing - the man can orgasm for 8 days straight. One of the waiters was in the enviable position of being in the urinal next to him but he just thought it was a guy who looked a lot like Sting. (Of course I had to ask the important question... But unfortunately he hadn't bothered to look at Sting's, er, stinger. Dammit.) Poor Trudy. I can't imagine being that guy's wife. At one point he took off his sweater and announced that he was hot. It took every ounce of self-control not to yell "YES YOU ARE!" C'mon, Every Breath You Take? Englishman In New York? How were we supposed to control ourselves? It was like every one of my 6th grade Sting fantasies come to life! Only with much less making out!

Plus I got a goodie bag with organic chocolate bars, some tea, an eco magazine, something called a USB drive AND an entire bottle of apple vodka! AND I got sent home at 1 am! Dude, it rocked.