I have not seen you in nothing either, asshole.

So I'm working this job I do every so often, selling baby clothes to retailers across the country. I actually look forward the gigs - the clothes are super cute, I get breakfast and lunch and since there's no commission, there's none of that icky pressure. The only drawback is the guy who works at the booth across from me. He's a shlumpy, sleazy guy from some indeterminant, vaguely Eastern European-ish country who peddles last season's peasant skirts to uninterested buyers. (Imagine George Costanza crossed with Steve Martin's Wild and Crazy Guy and you'll nail him.) He normally leaves me alone - which is wise - but for some strange reason, today he decided to chat me up. First he started talking about San Juan ("You never been dere? EVERYBODY been dere!"), yammering about how many times he got "it" while he was there (exactly what "it" was, I wasn't about to ask). Then he moved on to his feelings about "de gays". Then he moved on to me.

"So what you do?"

"I'm an actor."

"No you are not."

"Yeah. I am."

(doubtfully) "Really? No, you are not."

"Uh, yeah."

(scoffing) "I have not seen you in nothing!"

Well... Can't argue with that one. I was tempted to pull out my Prevacid ad but the patheticness of that move would've sent me over the edge.