Our mayor likes popcorn at all times, and that's a fact.

You know those political ads where they interview real people on the street and ask about their feelings about a particular mayorial candidate? They’re fakers. I know this because I just auditioned to play a "real" nurse for a political campaign.

For an attack ad, it was awfully half-assed. I was supposed to pretend that I’d been asked what I thought about Bloomberg. My response?

“Not bad.”

Not bad?! That’s the worst insult they could come up with? I don’t want to categorize Democrats as girly but come on - that’s not even a bitch-slap! All the characters had some wussy variation on the theme (“Okay”, “So-so”) but still the casting director kept telling us to “keep it gentle”. KEEP IT GENTLE?! Dude, if it gets any gentler I’ll be cooing in his ear. Seriously, if this is the best attack Democrats are willing to give, we are screwed, blued, and tattooed.