Frankenhumping
It has come to my attention that a rather incriminating photo of me lurks deep in the heart of cyberspace. It was taken years ago during my wilder days and was never supposed to be seen. I'm truly, deeply ashamed and wish to issue a public apology to any family members who have suffered emotional damage due to the photo's explicit nature.
It might be a photo of me getting humped against a bathroom stall by Frankenstein. I'm not saying it is, I'm just saying.
I'm also not saying that you should blame Missy and Jeff for digging it up because that would be wrong. You should also blame Dan.
In LA I was part of a theater company called Sacred Fools. Every week they'd do midnight shows that occasionally veered toward... the dumb. This particular one was called "Frankenstein and Vicki", a sweet story of love and reanimation set in a suburban high school. I played one of the popular girls who gets attacked by Frankenstein ("Brad") and turned into a zombie. Hifalutin' stuff, yes indeedy. It was insanely popular and ran for weeks which was a problem for the poor guy playing Brad as he was allergic to the blue body paint.
Ah, art.
posted by Ali @ 1:52 PM
10 Comments:
Ew, ew! I wanna see! I wanna see!
But you're leaving out the best part, Ali. You can see the photo simply by doing a Google search for: Alisha McKinney porn. Then click on the first result. It's a search I hadn't even thought of doing until recently (I was given an anonymous tip), but oh! what dividends! Good times...
We plead the 5th
Jeff found it
No family member has had to defend your honor to the press as yet, but it's going to be a different story when you become the star of a Christian 7th Heavenish sitcom and that photo is splashed on the front page of Star Magazine or The Enquirer and everyone standing in line at the grocery store sees it!
I want to know which "family member" of mine is up at 5:45 in the morning, that's what I want to know!
I just want to thank Missy and Jeff personally and want to warn them that I will be forwarding all Therapy Bills their way.
Shocked Husband,
I am a licensed professional counselor, so I can just provide the therapy if you like and save us all some trouble. I must have a discussion about how my husband uses his time when avoiding things like grading papers and all that.
More advice for shocked husband:
I'm not saying you'll ever need it, BUT in case you should ever suspect the little lady of getting the seven year itch, remember it's garlic for vampires, silver bullets for werewolves, and fire for Frankenstein. That should keep any potential affairs away.
OMG, the search works! Just be sure to practice safe work searching...
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